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How To Get Over A Heartbreak: The Kenyan Style

how to get over a heartbreak the kenyan style


Heartbreaks are aspects of a social twist that we are all vulnerable to as Kenyans. Many at times we are nursing emotional wounds caused by someone we held dear.  Someone once said that true love never ran a smooth course. Well, sometimes a “rough course” is even beyond what some of us go through.

Miresh,  a fresh graduate from the School of Dentistry in Kenya, only knows too well what a heartbreak is. She had dated her boyfriend, now her ex throughout her 4 campus years. She had even introduced Ibrahim to her parents and siblings despite him having a different religious background.  Miresh was a Christian, firmly round in a Christian way of life while Ibrahim was a Muslim. There nascent love life in Kenya had blossomed into an enviable combination of friendship and love. Not once in their campus were they crowned “Couple of the year”

After school, Miresh got a job in Naivasha town in Kenya while Ibrahim remained in Nairobi city in Kenya, still looking for a job.  3 months of working in Naivasha without seeing her boyfriend, Miresh decided to go visit her boyfriend. She figured out that it was more romantic to surprise him with her visit especially now that it was the Valentines weekend in Kenya. Miresh found her way to the mens hostels where Ibrahim had sought refuge at a friend’s room. Before Miresh could knock on the door, Ibrahim came out with a towel wound on his waist. Her guess was that he was headed for a night time shower. She tightly hugged her boyfriend, whom she had dearly missed and shoved the door so as to enter into the room with her boyfriend by her side.

Miresh could not believe what she saw! There was a lady trying to pull the sheets to hide her nudity. Condom wrappers were carelessly tossed on the floor, and the room reeked of alcohol and something else she presumed to be bhang.

“Baby, Lemmie explain. It is……”

Before Ibrahim could finish his statement, Miresh smacked his lips shut. She threw a little valentine’s card she had bought on her way and shut the door behind her. She walked to the Easy Coach head offices on Haile Selassie Avenue in Nairobi city and boarded the next bus to Naivasha. She could not believe her boyfriend of almost 5 years had been cheating on her…and worse still she had caught him pants down.

Like Miresh, we are all faced with such situations in our day to day life in Kenya. The best advice in how to deal with heartbreak is “Get busy”. Occupy your mind with lots of stuff and this will help you to forget, even though for a short while, your aching heart. Look for new hobbies and indulge in them. Make and meet friends and avoid being in lonely places.

Second advice is “Share”. Talk about it with a friend. Do not let the pain eat you up inside. A problem shared is a problem solved. Be careful not to overdo it though. If you live whining about your ex and how much he hurt you, trust me you will not forget them.

Third thing is, do not maintain contact. This is advice especially to the ladies. Men have their way with words! So once you are decided on moving on, do not reply to those texts and do not answer those calls. A single reply always takes you back to his arms as undeserving as he may be.

Make new friends once you are sure you are not dealing with the pain of heartbreak. A new relationship always does its magic- provided it is not a rebound relationship. You will get to learn that there are good people out there and your earlier encounter was just one of those proverbial frogs.

About the Author

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Emerging from the scenic landscapes of Kericho, with its verdant tea fields, James Ndetto's roots may seem a world apart from the bustling urban centers where communication theories are fervently discussed. Yet, it was here, amidst community gatherings and local stories, that James first understood the power of effective communication.

His curiosity took him to one of Kenya's premier universities, where he pursued a degree in Communication Studies. James' academic journey was marked by a desire to merge traditional African communication methods with modern theories and technologies, aiming to bridge the past with the present.

Post-graduation, James channeled his passion and expertise into writing. He began penning articles that provided deep insights into the evolving world of communication, especially as it pertained to the Kenyan context. His work touched upon diverse themes, from interpersonal communication in Kenyan communities to the transformative power of digital platforms in Africa.

James Ndetto's writings quickly resonated with readers across the continent. His unique perspective, which balanced academic rigor with relatable anecdotes, made him a favored voice in the realm of communication studies.

Beyond his written endeavors, James has taken on roles in academia, teaching courses on communication at notable Kenyan institutions. He has also been an active participant in international conferences, representing Kenya and contributing to global dialogues on the future of communication.

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